Death can be extremely difficult for children to comprehend, let alone process.

• Children younger than six years old are very literal, so they will require a balance of comfort and simple, direct answers. They may have difficulty understanding that a loved one will never return.

• Children between the ages of six and 10 will likely understand what has happened, but may have a lot of biological questions about the process or need to process their feelings through play and art.

• Children over the age of 10 can be plagued by insecurity to begin with, and may feel this more acutely as a result of loss. This is the time that children start to question death and loss in a more abstract way and to consider questions about the afterlife.

Helping Children Cope with Grief

• While it is common to want to shelter children from bad news, it is important to be honest with them. Using phrases like “she has gone away” or “he has gone to sleep” will often confuse children because they will not understand the finality of the situation.

• If a person has died of old age, very literally explain that their body eventually stopped working and that everyone’s body one day stops working.

• If a person has died in a sudden accident, you can describe the accident simply and explain that it caused the person’s body to stop working suddenly.

• Lean on your faith in choosing whether to share the concept of heaven or simply state that the person is now in the cemetery.

• Keep in mind that when young children ask where the person has gone, they are often more curious of the whereabouts than of existential concepts.

No one wants to scar children with difficult news, especially if the event was traumatic. Tone is extremely important while sharing the news of a loss with children. Ask children if they have any questions about the situation. Children may also have questions later, and although it may be emotionally difficult for you to continue discussing the topic, it is important to be loving, patient and consistent with your answers.

Courtesy www.learnpsychology.org/now/grief/